Mark Twain's: 9 Tips to Live a Kick Ass Life

Okay I know blog is supposed to have stuff i write, but also stuff I recommend right? 

So here it is. You just HAVE to read and follow this. Every point is amazing and true. 

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.

Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.

1. Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.

This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.

What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.

Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.

So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.

If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.

It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.

3. Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. 

4. Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.

5. Release yourself from entitlement.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing.It was here first.”

When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.

This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.

You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.

If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.

Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.

And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.

So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks.  They might just go: “OK”.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.

Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.

9. Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

Shortest Guide Ever!

Life can be ridiculously complicated, if you let it. I suggest we simplify.

Shortest guide to life you’ll ever need:

“Smile, breath, and go slowly.”

If you live your life by those five words, you’ll do pretty well. For those who need a little more guidance, I’ve distilled the lessons I’ve learned (so far) into a few guidelines, or reminders, really.

And as always, these rules are meant to be broken. Life wouldn’t be any fun if they weren’t.

The Brief Guide

less TV, more reading
less shopping, more outdoors
less clutter, more space
less rush, more slowness
less consuming, more creating
less junk, more real food
less busywork, more impact
less driving, more walking
less noise, more solitude
less focus on the future, more on the present
less work, more play
less worry, more smiles

And of course,

Breathe!

Cheers! :)

5 Motivational Mistakes or Something

To achieve great things – to achieve anything – you need to understand how motivation works.

The thing is, our minds don’t work the way we often think they do. (It’s the Inigo Montoya effect: “You keep using that mind. I don’t think it works like you think it works.”)

Therefore, there are some very popular motivational techniques that sound plausible, but are actually counterproductive if you don’t know exactly how to use them. Here are five of these techniques. For each of them, I’ve given an alternative that does work to produce more motivation and more goal achievement.

1. Affirmations

Affirmations do work – but only if you’re affirming something you actually believe to be true.

If you keep telling yourself what you know to be lies about yourself, all it does is create dissonance and disillusionment. If you don’t believe you’re beautiful, standing in front of the mirror saying “I wish I was beautiful” is an exercise in futility. Rather than improving your self-image, it will make it worse. So instead of saying that, say " I am beautiful" It'll make you feel better about yourself instantly.

2. Visualisation

According to a very popular teaching which rhymes with “Flaw of Distraction”, visualising your end goal is pretty much all you need to do in order to achieve it.

In fact, this is an excellent way to ensure that you achieve your goal, no matter how many seminars you attend or products you buy in an attempt to find out why you haven’t “made it” yet. Why you haven’t “made it” is that you’re not taking action. And one of the reasons you’re not taking action is that you’re spending your action-taking time convincing your mind that the goal if out of bounds. So visualize yourself achieveing the goal. (Of course action is equally important here. Only visualizing wont help)

3. Willpower

Willpower works to motivate you – up to a point. That’s the point at which you run out of willpower, because like energy or strength, it’s a finite resource.

Whenever you motivate yourself to do something that you don’t, emotionally, want to do, there are measurable changes in your body and brain. You use up blood sugar, for example. It’s an effort, just the same as running round the block is an effort. And just as you can’t run round the block forever, so you can’t keep making yourself do things that you feel negative about doing forever, however important they are to your long-term happiness. So use willpower but only to do things that you enjoy doing. 

4. Rewards

Rewards can be motivational – but only if they relate to what you’re actually doing.

Whether it’s bribing children with candy to get them to draw pictures or offering workers more money instead of more fulfilling work and more autonomy, “extrinsic” motivators tend to backfire and produce less motivation, not more. So rewards are imporant but only when you've done something to deserve a reward and it shouldn't be something totally irrelevant.

5. Punishment

Punishing or scolding yourself (or someone else) may be one of the most commonly practiced forms of motivation. It’s true that negative consequences are motivational, but only if you use them in a particular way. Otherwise, they just produce resentment and backfire – not only because the emotional associations with the goal become negative, but also because the punishments, like the rewards, that are offered are often extrinsic to the goal itself. So, no scolding yourself and brooding over failure. Learn from your mistakes and move on to the next job. 

You’ll notice that there’s a common theme in what works. It’s the process – the very thing we don’t want to think about, don’t want to go through – that holds the key to success. By paying attention to your process, you give yourself a motivational advantage and you’re much more likely to achieve your goals successfully. 

So what we conclude from this is that positive thinking without action and process and action and process without a positive outlook are both useless. Success is achievable only when you have both, positive attitude and hardwork. So go for it!

Cheers! :)

True and Beautiful.

I have come to realize that most people are not really happy in their relationships. There is an all important step towards happiness in your relationship and that step is what I call; self appreciation. The world we are living currently is filled with stressful activities and uncertainty of the economy! Remember that there is a strong link between financial security, healthy economy, stress, job challenge and relationship approach.

It is a pity that the world we live gives most people very few opportunities to sincerely relate or connect with their lovers and this single factor is Seriously causing arguments and complains from the victim in the relationship. One thing I have come to discover recently is the rising rate of people complaining that their partner doesn’t appreciate their beauty. Well, women are those suffering more as a result of this ugly development. Many ladies have told me that their male partners don’t really tell them how good they are looking often. It is also important to point out that some men are also experiencing this in their relationships.

Now, when you are down emotionally, it means you will not be happy even physically and you know what that means to your relationship-frustration, endless arguments, complains, fighting and even cheating! When you look at most of these people who complain about not receiving the deserve appreciation of their physical look from their partners, you will discover that they are always nagging. It is because they are frustrated and their relationships suffer for it.

I was once a victim of this and I read an article about appreciating myself and today, I’m really a happy person. My relationship is going fine and my partner doesn’t receive that mountain loads of complains and nagging. 
What is self appreciation?
To appreciate yourself means to adore your personality, to see the good qualities you have, to tell yourself that you’re looking beautiful, to believe in yourself, to discover yourself etc. You know how good we feel each time our partner looks at us and say: “you are looking good, beautiful, and exceptional”?  It makes us happy, but if your partner doesn’t say it always and you desire it often, you can feel dejected!

I urge you to start seeing the beautiful aspect of yourself. Remember that you cannot love your partner and express love fully to him/her if you haven’t loved yourself first. You must always look into the mirror and appreciate whatever you see there. You should be feeling good about yourself. Don’t rely so much on your partner to tell you how beautiful you are, say that to yourself too. Remember, once you are happy with yourself, you can easily be happy with others including your partner.

Feel beautiful and confident and see how things change! 

Cheers! :)

Happiness is a choice, choose it!

There are some people who seem to think that happiness is the result of all the right wheels turning at just the right time. You’re walking down the street, find twenty rupees, get a compliment from a stranger, meet the perfect guy or girl (and don’t totally make a fool of yourself), go to your favorite store and get 50% off, etc., etc.

It’s easy to be happy when everything seems to be going your way, but I think that defining happiness that way reduces it to a byproduct of luck, or an accident, which it is not. In fact, I might even argue that luck is a byproduct of happiness, if I was in a particularly feisty mood.

Happiness doesn’t just happen.

Some days are good, but there are probably more days that are just mediocre or plain bad, and it’s on those days that the true nature of happiness is revealed. Have you ever met someone who stayed positive, even when they’re having a bad day, and everything that can go wrong seems to be going wrong? If you’re having a bad day, too, just being near someone like that can be uplifting (although for others it is annoying, but that usually just stems from jealousy).

People who are able to smile even through the worst of times have learned a very important lesson, the same lesson I stated above: Happiness doesn’t justhappen.

Happiness is choice.

That’s right, a choice. Not an accident, not a charitable gift from the universe. Of course, it’s nice to receive those gifts, and easy to be happy when you do, but happiness is about choosing to see the adventure in every moment, choosing to understand that there will always be a light after the dark, that there is always good in every situation and every person, no matter how grim things may seem.

That’s the key to happiness: choosing it. It’s not an easy choice all the time, and it very well may be the last thing you want to do sometimes. When grief strikes, or when you just can’t seem to catch a break, sometimes you just want to sulk and stay upset, perpetuate the sadness. It’s a natural response, but it isn’t a required behavior, it’s a choice. And choosing to be happy will make you a better person, stronger, wiser. 

We always have the choice to be happy. Learning to change our attitude is frustrating, but worth it in the end. When we choose to be happy, things tend to work in our favor, and luck seems to be on our side; and even if things don’t happen the way you want them to, if you choose to be happy, you can accept situations for what they are and make the most of life, no matter the hand it deals you.

So accept things that life gives you and be thankful for everything you have because like I always say 'if you woke up to a brand new day today, you are lucky, many peope didnt have the privilege of living this beautiful day'

So people, when life gives you a reason to cry, show life that you have a 1000 reasons to smile!

Cheers! :)

Let a New Day Begin

My mind is empty, my thoughts run wild.
No one to hear me, no one to tell.

The days grow longer, the nights fall apart.
Not even shadows linger, no way to start.

The end is near now, the tower bell rings.
No place to run to, no birds shall sing.

O love, my lovely, my time has passed.
No longer lonely, no time to dance.

The rain drops fall, to ease the pain.
Your nights grow longer, your days grow thin.

This too shall pass now, all will be well.
No one will hurt now, no one will kill.

The moon has passed and the sun sets in.
I’m just a memory,
Let a new day begin.

Pursuit of Happiness

Okay, so all us have been in a one of those excrutiatingly helpless and sucky situations when we had nowhere to go to, no one to talk to to. The only difference is that some people decided to be brave, to fight, and come out of these situations with a smile while others chose to  be cowards and sit in one corner, crying and cribbing, like that's ever going to help. Honestly, i understand the overwhelming urge to resort to the all night 'daaru-sutta' sessions, but trust me, they dont help. AT ALL. Its okay to cry, its okay to get weak sometimes, but its not, i repeat, NOT okay to give up. 

Firstly, stop thinking that you're the only one suffering because you're not. Your boyfriend issues might be the biggest problem in your life, someone else might be having trouble with family, abuse, grades and what not. There are people out there who don't earn enough to feed their families, but they don't give up, do they? Self pity is synonymous with self destruction. DON'T do it.

Secondly, don't  start thinking negative. Yes, you should be prepared for the worst too, but dont start imagining everything that will follow the worst case scenario. I swear by 'The Secret' and 'Who moved my Cheese'. For all those who haven't read it, READ it. It'll change your way of looking at things, it helped me. And for the lazy asses who wont bother, I'll give you a gist of the books. Okay, so 'The Secret' says that every human being has this ability to change his "destiny" (yes, obviously, i don t believe in destiny). It says whatever we think about the most, umm, say positive thinking or positive self-talk (even the negative, so dont try that!), is passed on to the Universe as a message and that's what tends to happen. Now, this might seem like a superstition but really it has a scientific explanation. They say that whatever we think about the most consciously, tends to affect our subconscious thought process as well and hence we get motivated to achieve what we want to. So people, what does this prove? That we changed our destiny on our own? That we achieved whatever we wanted to without any divine intervention? That we are more capable than we think? Yes, all the above. 

So be positive, i know it sounds like the most cliched advice, but try it, it works!

Then comes the second book i mentioned, giving a story about two mice and two tiny human beings, it tells us how we get used to our cheese being put up at a particular station, by that i mean how we get used to things and hence take everything for granted. If someone moves the cheese to another station in the same maze, we're not even ready to go out there and explore the possibilities. We just want everything served on a platter but guys that's not what life is about! You need to push yourself to know your capabilities, to discover yourself. Sitting in one corner because you just got dumped, or you lost a match or you fell sick eating the same thing as your brother when he is fit and fine, or because you saw your parents fight one night is NOT going to help in any which way, alright? You need to work to make thing better. 
Lost a match? Work harder for the next. Got dumped, cry over it once, but that should be the last time. Dont brood over it. Move on, you'll find someone better. Put yourself out there. Push yourself.

You fell once, its okay. Big deal man. Get up, dust yourself, and move on. Your life maybe beautiful, you may have everything that you ever wished for or it might not be perfect, you may not have the best job in the world, your girlfriend might not look like a Victoria's secret angel, you may have a sucky stomach that doesn't digest anything or your parents might be fighting like cats and dogs but you'll have to live your life nevertheless. So might as well,  make this journey worthwhile and cherish the things you've got. 

Who knows what's in store for you? And since there is no way to find out other than letting life unfold the secrets, why not enjoy every second you've got. 

Because if you opened your eyes today, you are really lucky, some people didn't have the privilege of living this day. :)

Put yourself out there, and live each day. You will Love life!

Cheers! :)

Leaving stuff behind.

Before I even begin, I'd like to make sure that everyone who reads this fully understands, it's not one of those post-break up blogs, or even I-hate-my-life blogs ... it's just a blog, with a central topic of break-ups, coping with it and well to large extent life and moving on. It's a happy entry, more or less ... so enjoy!

One major advice to all, for the love of god, DO NOT listen to music. ANY KIND OF MUSIC. I mean, it sounds like they're pin-pointing it out that your life just went down the drain and you should be ashamed of it. It's like god's funny way of telling you "I-told-you-so". Especially, if people are listening to songs like Back to me (The All American Rejects),Come back to me (David Cook)or even No Surprise (Daughtry) ... oh boy, better hold on tight then.

Secondly, books and movies ... you know they're temporary relief ... you'd feel great while watching it, especially those chick-flicks and they're great alright but see here is the problem - by the end of the movie, you'd be wondering to yourself, why the hell couldn't it be me with that happy ending. Well two parts to that now, ONE - Sucks to be you! and TWO - Who says it can't be you? And where does it state that your book is over? My friends, happy endings exist. Yes, even in real life. It's just you're on your chapter 5 and you're already trying to reach chapter 8. That won't help.

That brings us to point number three. One day at a time. Because see you can't avoid it you know. You might be bitter, you might be sorry, you might be alone, or you might've already moved on, but all in all, if you're gonna rush through the process you might actually miss out on a lot. A lot of chances, a lot of answers, a lot of people, a lot of opportunities and most importantly a lot of lessons. So chill, enjoy the pain, understand that it is not here to stay. What happened in the past, do whatever you can, but you'll never change it, what's in the future, you don't know so no point in bothering. That leaves the present, try it out. Give it a shot. Give it chance and a try, you'd be shocked how much more precise you are while dealing with it than planning the future, or cribbing about the past. How much more it is in your control. Take it one step at a time. One day at a time.

So you loved someone? Good! I'm proud of you, that feeling my friend must be experienced. Now you're saying, you can't love anyone ever again? Now that's just a very Nicholas Spark moment, which if I may mention, only looks good in "A walk to remember" and I'd also like to add, A great novel, and a better movie for a change. But coming back to the point, how can you ditch love? It's there, you know it. You want it. He was was your first, he isn't your last. I know it's scary, to start over again. It's exhausting and painful. But of it all, it's worth it. He hurt you, treated you in many ways he shouldn't have, ditched you or cheated on you or whatever but don't you want something better? If someone tells you that you're not the one, and that you love 'em too much and they can't feel the same way about you, then my friend you've already lost the battle, how long before the war ends? Might as well learn from it. It's never worth it. I have learnt it the hard way, trying to make it easy for you!

Remember, there is someone out there, who'd love him more than you have. Treat him better, or maybe none of what I have mentioned. But that's for him to know, and his fate to tell. But there DEFINITELY is someone out there, who deserves you more, will make you happy, treat you better. And of it all, LOVE you. Not fake it, not try to, but actually do. He won't care if you love him more, he won't care if you love him at all, he won't care if the world ends tonight, because he'd want to be with you. And yes, I strongly believe such love exists. Maybe it's just a lot of chick-flicks screwing my senses up, but tell me one love story that didn't end that way. And no! your break up and Angelina and Brad aren't the ones I mean. I mean the ones like you mom and dads. Look at them. So yes, LOVE ACTUALLY is all around, you'll find it.

In the meanwhile till you find it, and you look for your special person, why miss out on anyone? Why block yourself up. Maybe he'll pass you through, and you'd never know. Open yourself up. Never let anyone, and yes ANYONE, tell you that you're not worth it. Because you are, you're the most beautiful person that there ever was, and you deserve nothing but the best, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Moments will come like this, when it will break you up, the person who you'd take a bullet for is the one who's pointing the gun at you. Don't walk away. Take the bullet, and let them know, I hope you're happy now that I'm hurt. Also, let them know. I hope you also know how it felt. But give everyone a try. Love is there my friend, look for it, don't worry if you don't find, because love likes being occupied, it's looking for you too. :)

Coming to the topic of Revenge! Sigh, stop behaving like a 5 year old kid. Shit happens, move on, and don't pray to god that they also feel exactly how you felt so that they know how it feels when you give someone everything you are, everything you ever were, everything you EVER will be, and it isn't good enough for them. Because, more than the pain, hurt, embarrassment,it's the feeling of not being enough that kills you. I think that can only be done away with when the other person feels it too. So don't personally get involved in plotting a revenge. Wait and see if Karma is actually a bitch or not, eh?

Lastly, people accept it, I know it hurts. There is no running away from it. The pain doesn't ease down. There is no looking away. No matter what you do, HOWEVER you do it, it'll be there. It's like a constant reminder. So yeah, break-down, cry, hate-life for a bit, works actually. All of the above mentioned so called "techniques" don't help shit! But what matters is you never know when someone will come and rescue you out of your misery. So wait for it, one fine day, you'd be back to square one, and you'd be so happy to be there. :)
Just wait for it.