An Indian Woman

No famed personality, no celebrated celebrity. I am just and ordinary girl from a down to earth family. What I write here today is something that every Indian woman feels. I am not weak, you are just too blinded by your chauvinism to see how strong I am. I don't react to your cheap tricks and its not because I can't, its because I dont want to break your ego so easy. 

I can't even use public transport. In buses people cling fast to their belongings because they're afraid of losing them but me? My most priced possession, my dignity, my respect, my body is out there for people who fulfill their cheap fantasies with, to brush upon, to feel. Metro? Well yes, a little safer because we have a "ladies compartment" right? I wrote that in inverted commas because thats a namesake LADIES compartment. Men enter the compartment and push themselves on me and leave saying sorry with a cheap smirk. And autos? The drivers are more interested in listening to my voice by asking silly questions, he uses the rear view mirror, not to look at the cars but me. And dont think I dont know where those sudden breaks and wrong turns come from, I do. 

I am supposed to cover myself up because apparently my dressing sense provokes the rapists? What about the rapes in winters? I am not supposed to stay out late? What about the day-time rapes? I am supposed to have female friends only, no male friends, what about the rapes where unknown people barge into your autos ? Acid attacks, burnt bodies, ruined lives, these things make me heart weep, not because I'm helpless but because i have to live with beasts. My body, my pride, my dignity is ruined, I am the victim, and you blame me? I am supposed to call my rapists 'bhaiya' so he leaves me? You know what? They wont stop even if i wear their mothers mask on my face, because they would stop at nothing. And I am the one to be blamed? I,  as a girl can't even think of being on the receiving end of such animalistic behaviour base on what? My gender? Of course, that's legitimate. What infuriates me most is how the society is so quick to judge the victim. Shouldn't have been out so late, was with guys, was wearing a dress, so what? A guy murdered in the same situation wont be blamed, then why me? Tell me how am I supposed to believe that i live among humans and not a group of unevolved form of the most dangerous animal on the face of Earth, just how? 

I am an Indian woman, and I dont want your sympathy. I just want to warn you. If a girl can let you live in a world of illusion where you are more powerful than her, if she can let you dominate her and take all the bullshit you give her, she can also rip you apart totally. So dont force me. Dont. :)

True and Beautiful.

I have come to realize that most people are not really happy in their relationships. There is an all important step towards happiness in your relationship and that step is what I call; self appreciation. The world we are living currently is filled with stressful activities and uncertainty of the economy! Remember that there is a strong link between financial security, healthy economy, stress, job challenge and relationship approach.

It is a pity that the world we live gives most people very few opportunities to sincerely relate or connect with their lovers and this single factor is Seriously causing arguments and complains from the victim in the relationship. One thing I have come to discover recently is the rising rate of people complaining that their partner doesn’t appreciate their beauty. Well, women are those suffering more as a result of this ugly development. Many ladies have told me that their male partners don’t really tell them how good they are looking often. It is also important to point out that some men are also experiencing this in their relationships.

Now, when you are down emotionally, it means you will not be happy even physically and you know what that means to your relationship-frustration, endless arguments, complains, fighting and even cheating! When you look at most of these people who complain about not receiving the deserve appreciation of their physical look from their partners, you will discover that they are always nagging. It is because they are frustrated and their relationships suffer for it.

I was once a victim of this and I read an article about appreciating myself and today, I’m really a happy person. My relationship is going fine and my partner doesn’t receive that mountain loads of complains and nagging. 
What is self appreciation?
To appreciate yourself means to adore your personality, to see the good qualities you have, to tell yourself that you’re looking beautiful, to believe in yourself, to discover yourself etc. You know how good we feel each time our partner looks at us and say: “you are looking good, beautiful, and exceptional”?  It makes us happy, but if your partner doesn’t say it always and you desire it often, you can feel dejected!

I urge you to start seeing the beautiful aspect of yourself. Remember that you cannot love your partner and express love fully to him/her if you haven’t loved yourself first. You must always look into the mirror and appreciate whatever you see there. You should be feeling good about yourself. Don’t rely so much on your partner to tell you how beautiful you are, say that to yourself too. Remember, once you are happy with yourself, you can easily be happy with others including your partner.

Feel beautiful and confident and see how things change! 

Cheers! :)

Sweet revenge or sadistic pleasure?

This is a work of fiction! Enjoy!

Things have a way of getting tangled up.

The rain pours outside, relentless like the thoughts in her head. The man beside her sleeps on, dreaming of God only knows what men dream of. Race cars? Supermodels? Her fingers have long since stopped seeking his out for comfort. They seek out a cigarette instead; the gesture now so practiced it barely registers anymore. The smell of the rain mingles with the tobacco scent of a thousand nights like this one. The mingled odours rise up and settle onto her chest, pressing until she can barely breathe anymore. The bed isn't hers; she rises to escape its throttling embrace.

The window seems less dangerous. Leaning out, she looks at the plants by the windowsill. His wife is a herb lover. In the early, heady days of their acquaintance, she remembers laughing at him telling her that the missus's green thumb cultivated everything except weed. Now she leans and smells thyme, basil and mint. Well grown, well loved plants, tended with the care that escaped the marriage within the walls. 

But then, how can she judge anymore? He's been lying to her for years now, inuring her to a life of secret meetings and covert hook ups. She may even have begun preferring it that way. God knows she couldn't be the wife, satisfied with herbs alone. She's been meaning to break it off for a long time, but habit has proved more persevering than she accounted for.

How does one end up as the Other Woman? Is she predisposed towards it? Is there a separate school or university for virtuous, herb growing wives? There's been nothing out of the ordinary about her life, so why did she end up taking this fork in the road? She looks at the sleeping man, the man who somehow got her to accept sordid as exciting; who managed to erode what was inside her till she was okay with this. 

He's vain, a peacock looking for validation, from yes men and yes-to-anything women. His vanity is even more extraordinary given how meagre he is. Suddenly, it's impossible to stay used to this any longer. 

She goes to the dresser and opens a drawer. The scissors are exactly what she needs. She goes over to his sleeping form and gently begins what she should've done years ago. It takes a while because she wants him to stay asleep; a scene isn't something she can endure right now. 

When daylight breaks, the room is empty save for the gently rumbling snores of a man lying on the rumpled bed. All around his head lie bunches of hair, snipped without grace or mercy. The herbs on the windowsill look freshly watered.

The Truth About Relationships

Again before i even start i would like you all to know that this is not a hate post or anything of that sort okay?

We live in a world where relationships, well i dont even know whether to call them that or not, have become all about uploading a picture of you and your partner on facebook. Fights are only about hanging up. Whoever hangs up first is one who has to be convinced. And what is convincing? Sending texts that say i love you boohoo, im sorry baby, please forgive me pumpkin. I mean now really? Behind all the show and non sense we've just forgotten what relationships are about. They are about emotions! They are about communicating, supporting each other, having someone to count on, having someone by your side and being there for them. It almost seems like the next gen wont even be familiar with this word you know!

Okay now as far as the girls are concerned, we've just adopted this idea of a tall dark handsome prince who would come and sweep us off our feet. Well going by that it seems my prince has lost his way or his horse collapsed or something, because if thats not the case, i really need to gift him a watch, he's running late! Really late. As girls we have so many expectations from our boyfriends that we lose count of limits , boundaries , promises and even cliched dreams . Though every relationship whether short or long has its own unique start and seems to be beautiful and enchanting to each one of us at first , they all land up in the same bin one day or the other. Girls you need to stop running after materialistic pleasures that come with a relationship. Money, it can be earned, house and expensive gifts, all these are just byproducts. Where is the love? 
Okay you love him? Great, I am proud of you but just be honest to yourself for once and ask yourself will you stick to him if his business went down or he got fired? Will you? Well, if people are being honest here, I'll tell you not even 5% of the women would say yes to this question. Our minds have been polluted by this cliched idea of a perfect life with a handsome prince. Okay asking for a safe future is not wrong but trust me only a safe future cant keep you happy. Money, house, jewellery, dates and dinners can come in later but trust me, if you choose these over love, oh boy, better hold on tight'cause you're in for one hell of a life for materialistic happiness lasts only for a while!

Now, guys,  most of the bachelors today are dying to get a girlfriend , fall in love and experience all the wows cause they have no idea how much pain those vows bring in, but gentlemen I humbly request you to let go of this and take a step towards the better parts of life ; music, dance , photography , art , sports , writing , travelling or your childhood favorite ,porn but please deviate yourselves from this swamp called relationships. All you would be doing is pampering your self- centered and thankless girlfriend who only know ‘you don’t care about me’ , ‘you don’t love me’ and ‘you don’t want to be with me ‘ , like seriously this is what you need ? Even if you want to live the ‘Romeo-life’ for once find the perfect Juliet and do not , mind it DO NOT jump for mind games , beauty , hot – sexy bodies , seduction techniques they are all traps set by tramps .You guys need to look out for a beautiful soul, a pure heart. I know you  cant rip open a girls heart to see how it is (even though i know wish you could rip off the t shirt at least!) but still try it.But guys I swear it ain’t that easy and especially being a girl myself who behaves like a bitch more than 20 hours a day I know it isn’t so you do have a tough job in front of you but if you succeed  you will be  the luckiest guy in the world and yes you will feel so. And how ? Well go ahead and ask a guy who has gone through this struggle . Its a long and tiring process filled with heartbreaks and tears , night long daaru-sutta sessions and a load of abuses but have faith you will reach there and do not give up hope there are good women out there waiting to be loved; just like the hyped men who take away your dreams, your hyped beauties are taking away theirs so go out and find the real women with real curves , real hair , real lashes , real friends , real lives and real hearts. The journey is yet to begin.

Its really strange how our idea about love has changed over time because of these movies which show only rich brats and their sexy looking chicks having a good life. However, they are just movies, my friends, just movies. Normal people with ordinary lifestyles and average looks can also lead a very romantic and happy life. You just have to look for your perfect someone and the sweet nothings will automatically seem sweeter and better, yeah?


Cheers! :)

Leaving stuff behind.

Before I even begin, I'd like to make sure that everyone who reads this fully understands, it's not one of those post-break up blogs, or even I-hate-my-life blogs ... it's just a blog, with a central topic of break-ups, coping with it and well to large extent life and moving on. It's a happy entry, more or less ... so enjoy!

One major advice to all, for the love of god, DO NOT listen to music. ANY KIND OF MUSIC. I mean, it sounds like they're pin-pointing it out that your life just went down the drain and you should be ashamed of it. It's like god's funny way of telling you "I-told-you-so". Especially, if people are listening to songs like Back to me (The All American Rejects),Come back to me (David Cook)or even No Surprise (Daughtry) ... oh boy, better hold on tight then.

Secondly, books and movies ... you know they're temporary relief ... you'd feel great while watching it, especially those chick-flicks and they're great alright but see here is the problem - by the end of the movie, you'd be wondering to yourself, why the hell couldn't it be me with that happy ending. Well two parts to that now, ONE - Sucks to be you! and TWO - Who says it can't be you? And where does it state that your book is over? My friends, happy endings exist. Yes, even in real life. It's just you're on your chapter 5 and you're already trying to reach chapter 8. That won't help.

That brings us to point number three. One day at a time. Because see you can't avoid it you know. You might be bitter, you might be sorry, you might be alone, or you might've already moved on, but all in all, if you're gonna rush through the process you might actually miss out on a lot. A lot of chances, a lot of answers, a lot of people, a lot of opportunities and most importantly a lot of lessons. So chill, enjoy the pain, understand that it is not here to stay. What happened in the past, do whatever you can, but you'll never change it, what's in the future, you don't know so no point in bothering. That leaves the present, try it out. Give it a shot. Give it chance and a try, you'd be shocked how much more precise you are while dealing with it than planning the future, or cribbing about the past. How much more it is in your control. Take it one step at a time. One day at a time.

So you loved someone? Good! I'm proud of you, that feeling my friend must be experienced. Now you're saying, you can't love anyone ever again? Now that's just a very Nicholas Spark moment, which if I may mention, only looks good in "A walk to remember" and I'd also like to add, A great novel, and a better movie for a change. But coming back to the point, how can you ditch love? It's there, you know it. You want it. He was was your first, he isn't your last. I know it's scary, to start over again. It's exhausting and painful. But of it all, it's worth it. He hurt you, treated you in many ways he shouldn't have, ditched you or cheated on you or whatever but don't you want something better? If someone tells you that you're not the one, and that you love 'em too much and they can't feel the same way about you, then my friend you've already lost the battle, how long before the war ends? Might as well learn from it. It's never worth it. I have learnt it the hard way, trying to make it easy for you!

Remember, there is someone out there, who'd love him more than you have. Treat him better, or maybe none of what I have mentioned. But that's for him to know, and his fate to tell. But there DEFINITELY is someone out there, who deserves you more, will make you happy, treat you better. And of it all, LOVE you. Not fake it, not try to, but actually do. He won't care if you love him more, he won't care if you love him at all, he won't care if the world ends tonight, because he'd want to be with you. And yes, I strongly believe such love exists. Maybe it's just a lot of chick-flicks screwing my senses up, but tell me one love story that didn't end that way. And no! your break up and Angelina and Brad aren't the ones I mean. I mean the ones like you mom and dads. Look at them. So yes, LOVE ACTUALLY is all around, you'll find it.

In the meanwhile till you find it, and you look for your special person, why miss out on anyone? Why block yourself up. Maybe he'll pass you through, and you'd never know. Open yourself up. Never let anyone, and yes ANYONE, tell you that you're not worth it. Because you are, you're the most beautiful person that there ever was, and you deserve nothing but the best, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Moments will come like this, when it will break you up, the person who you'd take a bullet for is the one who's pointing the gun at you. Don't walk away. Take the bullet, and let them know, I hope you're happy now that I'm hurt. Also, let them know. I hope you also know how it felt. But give everyone a try. Love is there my friend, look for it, don't worry if you don't find, because love likes being occupied, it's looking for you too. :)

Coming to the topic of Revenge! Sigh, stop behaving like a 5 year old kid. Shit happens, move on, and don't pray to god that they also feel exactly how you felt so that they know how it feels when you give someone everything you are, everything you ever were, everything you EVER will be, and it isn't good enough for them. Because, more than the pain, hurt, embarrassment,it's the feeling of not being enough that kills you. I think that can only be done away with when the other person feels it too. So don't personally get involved in plotting a revenge. Wait and see if Karma is actually a bitch or not, eh?

Lastly, people accept it, I know it hurts. There is no running away from it. The pain doesn't ease down. There is no looking away. No matter what you do, HOWEVER you do it, it'll be there. It's like a constant reminder. So yeah, break-down, cry, hate-life for a bit, works actually. All of the above mentioned so called "techniques" don't help shit! But what matters is you never know when someone will come and rescue you out of your misery. So wait for it, one fine day, you'd be back to square one, and you'd be so happy to be there. :)
Just wait for it.

Bitter-sweet memories.

We have all made BIG, BIG blunders in life. You are not a normal teenager if you haven't made blunders at some point or the other. But all that seems, just yesterday. Today, I'm a senior, who's on her way to finish this HUGE chapter of the Fat Ass book called "Life" and is about to go to the next one. 

When I look back at this, so many memories come back. It's hard to tell which is the bad one and which is the good one because standing here and looking back, it ALL seems so worth it.All those fights. And no I really mean fights, not those bitchy 'lil kiss-and-make-up-stories . . . I quite mean the part where you don't want to see each other's face again, that you'd "ACTUALLY" skip school just so that you don't see it. And yet end up going and messing around with them. And all the random talks and deciding who's who, which guy is out of bound, which guy is not worth any bounds, and stepping all over that line of bound to see what if the out-of-bound works out. Standing in front of the canteen and asking for money. Finding that one friend, who you can always bully, with them knowing you'd never harm them. And Finding that one friend who you'd ALWAYS want to hurt, but won't because you love them.

Being a Senior is quite amazing. Because, right now is the time we all want to make all of the mistakes and want somebody else to correct it for us. But when they do we want to tell them, "Back off, it's my life, and I know my highway directions pretty good". Even funnier, we know we're still screwing up. But this is the most innocent and bold time to fall, crumble, and to get back up. 'Cause this is the time, when mistakes aren't just mistakes, they are a lesson. 

One aspect of being senior that NEVER fails to show it's importance is THE Love. See you can always fall in love up above or down below of the "SENIOR" tag, but quite NOTHING like the High School Love.Quite nothing like loving someone now, and knowing it will last forever. Maybe it wont, but trust me it always leaves a very pleasant memory. Plus the statistic shows, most of the couple that end up being together forever, start here. Right now we're so up on our hormones, that nothing seems wrong, all the wrongs can be corrected, and all that needs to be wronged can be ignored. Who you love now, will always leave an impression in you life and how you shape it. Love now, and live forever. 

Good Memories, aren't they? But sadly, Memories, which means separation is on it's way. Sucks to say it, but in few more months, we will all move on. Some will stay connected, some will try to, others like most of us will move on. And it sucks the most when that happens. But it IS something that will. Down the line, we won't remember each other's face, name, number and we wouldn't care. That will be the time we'll look back and smile at these memories and say, oh that guy, yeah he rejected me, that was funny. Or oh yeah that guy, i screwed his case, and I slapped him, that was funny. Trust me that guy will also laugh about getting slapped.

So as of now, live these last few days as much as you can. Cause they won't last forever. Make these bitter-sweet memories. Make life. Cause someday, this will all be  gone. No more secretly meeting up your boyfriend/girlfriend, and not telling your parents your grades, and no more hiding behind an excuse and expect everything to turn up right. 

Don't wait for it to happen, let it. :)