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Sunday 28 April 2013

Friendship or love?

Friendship – A relationship of our choice (Am I correct??). We have the freedom of choosing our friends based on our wish, wavelength, attitude and whatever. We hardly see EGO between any friends. We accept them as they are!! A friend is one who loves, cares, cries, fights, prays, etc., does everything for you. Be it a day or night, a friend is always at your sight.

Love – Is also a relationship of our choice (definitely yes!!). Our heart will thrive for them. Our eyes will look around for their presence. Our harms will tend to hold them. It makes the minds to adjust. 

We have loads and loads of quotes and poetries on love and friendships. I would say everyone in this world would have experienced both. In my experience, I feel that there is not much difference between a friend and a lover.. Rather I can put this way – “Mentally Friendship and Love are one and the same”. Both Love and Friendship need good understanding for it to last forever. 

Possessiveness is in born with love – everyone say. Do we not have the same between friends as well? Aren’t we possessive when our close friend speaks or gives importance to someone else keeping us in presence?

Sacrifice – that takes place in friendship as well as love. Former one is the affection that makes his/her friend so comfortable. Later one is the love that makes the lover feel happy.

Our heart not only cries for the love, but also longs for a friend who leaves us during the course of life. Say we work together for years in a company and when one of them leaves for another company, don’t we miss them very much and don't we cry when they depart? (Am I with you guys??)

Have we not heard about many of the friends, just because not to lose their good friendship, they enter into love? Behind that love lye the strong friendship. Friendship - that is needed in every love!!

When I saw Kuch Kuch Hota Hai movie (during my +1…) I was not able to accept that how come a friend become a lover. For me it seems to be not a friendship at all. A friend should always be a friend (how stupid I am :P??). Later I realized that “friends who enter love is basically not to lose their friendship…moving to love and then to marriage will save their friendship…”

There is a thin line between love and friendship...best of friends make the best spouses. And in some cases love ruins great friendships. No I am NOT trying to confuse you, just saying :P 

If you love someone say it, before its too late, dont worry about the friendship getting ruined and crap, because you never know what that person feels. But THE MOST IMPORTANT aspect of a relationship is that you need to be friends with your partners. 

SO yes, Friendship is the backbone of all relationships in the world, then again so is love! :)

Monday 22 April 2013

An Independent Woman!

It doesn't matter if we have castration or capital punishment for rapists in the country. We need to stop sounding like we are not complicit in promoting an unsafe environment for girls, for women. Don't sit and watch Akshay Kumar pinch Sonakshi Sinha's waist in Rowdy Rathore and laugh about it like a crazy moron.  Don't listen to Honey Singh sing shit about women. Don't objectify women! Dont whisper to your friends about how "easy" so and so girl is because she has sex casually and frequently. Don't tell women in your life that the dress isnt appropriate, that she shouldn't be out after six in the evening, that she should be careful about the guys that she is friends with. Dont ask her WHY she was there with THAT person. Dont question her. Don't make and laugh at rape jokes, at jokes where women are doing nothing but making sandwiches for men, jokes that glorify physical violence.

Rapes don't happen in abstract places, to people without faces, by people who are any different from us. We are the reason rapes happen again and again. Stop accusing feminists for over reacting, because they aren't. You are not reacting properly. Today you posted a few lines about the rape case and changed your display picture to the black dot of shame only because it was the news flash of the week. But what next? 
And frankly, if you cant take a stand all the time, dont pretend to give a shit when women face such things. Only ones who have been through this know how it feels. Its nothing new. It happens, very frequently!
Some cases come into your notice because as they say, everyone has a story to tell, some whisper while some yell.

Ours is the kind of capital city where women cant even imagine about stepping out of the house alone after dark. What kind of a society have we become that we cant protect our women?

I, as a girl, cant even imagine about being at the receiving end of such an animalistic act and based on what? My gender?! Yes, that is bloody legitimate!

What infuriates me the most is how the society is so quick to judge the victim. She was out with the wrong people, wrong clothes and what not. Men murdered in the same circumstances never ever have to bear with the judgmental society. So really if you cant take a stand, if you dont care, then keep your chauvinistic judgmental asses to yourselves. How am i supposed to believe that I live in a society where every member is supposedly a variant of the human species and not some unevolved for of the violent most animal that the history of the planet has ever seen?

Almost 80% of us, by that I mean women and girls, can confess having been in one of those excrutiatingly helpless situations where we had no where to go to, where death seemes a simpler and more obvious choice. Some of us got lucky, some didnt. It doesnt matter what you are wearing, who you are with. You are an individual and you are strong, ladies, dont worry!

Amongst all the things whose prices have skyrocketed in the reign of this "fuck-all-carnical-of-morons" that we call the Indian Government, a womens dignity remains to b ethe costliest.

I am in no way saying that the govt is to blame, but i am saying that they are not taking strict actions. I am not here to comment upon people or change you, but I just hope i can ring a bell somewhere in your minds that forces you to improve yourself as individuals and work better upon your sons. 

Think about it, YOU can be the change that you want to see.


Sunday 21 April 2013

Cries unheard

Navratras began, people were worshiping little girls and that very day we come to know about another Rape, on a 5 yr old girl in Delhi. She was kept hostage for four days, raped brutally. The heartless moron did not give her food. The doctors found a 200 ml bottle and pieces of candles in her stomach. I mean what kind of a moron does that? He has to be a psychopath for doing something of this sort. The world is becoming so pathetic that now the police officials are bribing the parents to 'keep shut'! Just how? That girl might not even survive. And even if she does, she might never be able to live a normal happy life, she will always be apprehensive of talking to men. 

Just the other day I read this story in a paper about this man who is really friendly and loves kids. He smiles at a little girl in the metro and said " Hello little girl" and within seconds the mother created a scene yelling on top of her lungs. She said "Didn't I ask to never talk to strangers? They will take you away and hurt you. Don't you get it?" 

Now you cant even blame the mother. She loves her daughter. Times are such that you just cant trust anybody. But the problem here is that we cant survive like this. Every time a girl is raped people start blaming the girl. Must be out late, must be with the wrong guys, her clothes must be inappropriate, her actions must be provocative. Today, I ask, what do you think was the little girls mistake? Like good Indians we name this victim 'Gudiya'. We will post statuses and protest, our display pictures will be 'Black dots of Shame' only till M.S. Dhoni hits a six or Malinga bowls someone out in the IPL. Why? 

Its high time we take action. Its high time we react. Its high time the police and the Government work for our benefit. Its high time. We can no longer sit quiet. Wake up people. Wake up before its too late. 

Honestly, I dont have tears in my eyes, but I died a little inside. Again. 

#Ashamedcitizen.  

Tuesday 9 April 2013

An Indian Woman

No famed personality, no celebrated celebrity. I am just and ordinary girl from a down to earth family. What I write here today is something that every Indian woman feels. I am not weak, you are just too blinded by your chauvinism to see how strong I am. I don't react to your cheap tricks and its not because I can't, its because I dont want to break your ego so easy. 

I can't even use public transport. In buses people cling fast to their belongings because they're afraid of losing them but me? My most priced possession, my dignity, my respect, my body is out there for people who fulfill their cheap fantasies with, to brush upon, to feel. Metro? Well yes, a little safer because we have a "ladies compartment" right? I wrote that in inverted commas because thats a namesake LADIES compartment. Men enter the compartment and push themselves on me and leave saying sorry with a cheap smirk. And autos? The drivers are more interested in listening to my voice by asking silly questions, he uses the rear view mirror, not to look at the cars but me. And dont think I dont know where those sudden breaks and wrong turns come from, I do. 

I am supposed to cover myself up because apparently my dressing sense provokes the rapists? What about the rapes in winters? I am not supposed to stay out late? What about the day-time rapes? I am supposed to have female friends only, no male friends, what about the rapes where unknown people barge into your autos ? Acid attacks, burnt bodies, ruined lives, these things make me heart weep, not because I'm helpless but because i have to live with beasts. My body, my pride, my dignity is ruined, I am the victim, and you blame me? I am supposed to call my rapists 'bhaiya' so he leaves me? You know what? They wont stop even if i wear their mothers mask on my face, because they would stop at nothing. And I am the one to be blamed? I,  as a girl can't even think of being on the receiving end of such animalistic behaviour base on what? My gender? Of course, that's legitimate. What infuriates me most is how the society is so quick to judge the victim. Shouldn't have been out so late, was with guys, was wearing a dress, so what? A guy murdered in the same situation wont be blamed, then why me? Tell me how am I supposed to believe that i live among humans and not a group of unevolved form of the most dangerous animal on the face of Earth, just how? 

I am an Indian woman, and I dont want your sympathy. I just want to warn you. If a girl can let you live in a world of illusion where you are more powerful than her, if she can let you dominate her and take all the bullshit you give her, she can also rip you apart totally. So dont force me. Dont. :)

Sunday 7 April 2013

Nobody


Hello my name is Nobody. Well, Nobody care. I'm a very messed up girl. I don't know what I want most of the times. And well at times I know exactly what I want. I don't have manicured nails or hair that falls perfectly but I still stay happy nevertheless. 

Everyday is like this new chapter to this huge book that I'm writing known as life. Well, everyone here wants to know what I'm doing or what my plans for the future are. Not because they care but because they are curious. It gives me a topic to Gossip about. So I am supposed to know what I am doing. But I don't. I don't think anyone does. I can try to be strong, and smart and sharp. But we all know that we're lying we say we have it all planned and under control because we don't. Almost no one does. We are just scared to admit it. Anyways. We can't be what we are, because we're always so fixated on the fact that we want to be something, someone else. Sometimes to please others, sometimes to please ourselves. I do it too. I'm no different. I preach for things I fall short of. And I'm not perfect. But I try. And I'm getting familiar with the fact of life that God has some completely different plans for us, you know. Hard accept.eh?

I'm weak. Sometimes strong on the surface, sometimes hollow till the end. I'm jealous, I'm scared of losing the ones I love. I fight for the wrong causes, and insane reasons. Somehow I understand things that aren't important and I am totally clueless about the "important" things in life. Yes I used inverted commas because important things is a relative term. no? Whats important to me might not be of much importance to you. (Well mostly people find the thing that is important for me to be very vague but anyways)  I try loving, I fail at it. I try being the best that I can, sometimes it's a good day, other are on the weather. But I never give up. I keep on going at it.

I make decisions, knowing the consequences. Consequences, of which I'm not very sure of. Hell I'm not even sure if my decisions are right or not. But I make them anyway, mostly because I have always believed in two things Hope and Faith. I guess if anyone has these, anyone can go anywhere. I guess I'll keep "hoping" I won't lose "faith" in that. Anyways, decisions are never right or wrong, one makes the decision right or wrong after taking it (by that I mean your work does)

I like to runaway all the times, mostly because I don't know what to do. But I I avoid it as far as possible because running away isn't the solution. Being a coward to reality is being fake through out. Sometimes I sacrifice things I want because losing what is on the other end of the line is much more important and I can't bear that. People maybe. The ones I love. Though they don't appreciate it always. That's when I get to regretting my decisions. Sometimes I don't sacrifice, because I always wonder does the other person feel the same way too? That's what I call intuitions. I guess someday I'll find out, and if not, I was never suppose to and move on.

I'm not wise enough to make strong decisions. I need someone to guide me always. I always have someone or the other for that. For that I'm thankful. Then are these times too when I dont have a single person but that's life right? But is it ever enough? I guess not. The decisions I make are based on emotion and not rationale. Then again, I was always about the earlier, latter is just faux pas. But without decisions being made, there won't ever be any conclusions. And I always like to see the end of things.

I'm scared I'm gonna lose everything I stand for. Everything I have worked for. Everything I care about, and everything I have done to protect and grow. And maybe I will. It has happened before. It hurts, it breaks me down, and it shatters me. I shut down for a while. But it's never enough to stop me. Because if I am not afraid of losing somethings in life, I'll never have them. And I anyways end up losing most of the things I love. Then fall for other things, though I am not denying that it takes time to move on.

I'm the not "rightest" person to be judged, mostly because you'll judge me wrong. Maybe you'll think I'm a nice girl - I guess I'm not. Maybe otherwise. But all in all, I'm sure, someday, somehow I'll know what I want, and I'll be a better me. And till then that is what I will try to be. 

Mark Twain's: 9 Tips to Live a Kick Ass Life

Okay I know blog is supposed to have stuff i write, but also stuff I recommend right? 

So here it is. You just HAVE to read and follow this. Every point is amazing and true. 


“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”
You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.
Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.
1. Approve of yourself.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.
This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.
What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.
Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.
So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.
2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.
And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.
If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.
It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.
3. Lighten up and have some fun.
“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”
“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”
Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.
And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. 
4. Let go of anger.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.
So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.
5. Release yourself from entitlement.
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing.It was here first.”
When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.
This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.
You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.
6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”
I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.
If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.
Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.
And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.
So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.
You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. :) They might just go: “OK”.
7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”
What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.
It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.
8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.
This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.
Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.
9. Do what you want to do.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

Shortest Guide Ever!


Life can be ridiculously complicated, if you let it. I suggest we simplify.
Shortest guide to life you’ll ever need:
“Smile, breath, and go slowly.”
If you live your life by those five words, you’ll do pretty well. For those who need a little more guidance, I’ve distilled the lessons I’ve learned (so far) into a few guidelines, or reminders, really.
And as always, these rules are meant to be broken. Life wouldn’t be any fun if they weren’t.

The Brief Guide

less TV, more reading
less shopping, more outdoors
less clutter, more space
less rush, more slowness
less consuming, more creating
less junk, more real food
less busywork, more impact
less driving, more walking
less noise, more solitude
less focus on the future, more on the present
less work, more play
less worry, more smiles
And of course,
Breathe!

Cheers! :)